Rush rush rush.
14th December marks the day I had been looking forward to. This date had unknowingly approached when I was in the midst of catching up with everything in my life.
My life, is still in a mess.
And everyday ever since the exams ended, I had been busy catching and meeting up with friends and people from all walks of my life. Sometimes I don’t know why I even bother doing so when at the end of the day, I felt I met them simply for the sake of doing so. I don’t feel happiness, neither do I feel satisfied that I caught up with them. Perhaps somewhere along the communication line, something went wrong. I am not sure about it myself either. The only thing I am sure of is as long as I meet them, I won’t feel guilty.
Friday, I met up with my besties. Even though only Ferlin, Renee, Yumin and I were present, we had a great dinner along with a HTHT session. After which was chilling out at The Loof.
The ever comfortable companion never fail to make me feel at ease. But sometimes I do wonder, if our friendship can ever go to a even higher level. Perhaps we are so used to each others presence that we forgot what true friends are supposed to be like.
So Friday night was a good night and so was the Sunday night that just passed.
It was Oschool Recital and some of the United Elements decided to go down and support our fellow Dolly! The performances were truly inspiring and well done. Hopefully I would be able to participate in at least one dance school’s recital in 2010. That would be one of the goals I want to aim for!
I enjoyed crowd watching alot that night. Looking at people who came to support their friends, especially fellow dancers. There would be this undeniable aura from dancers and I kinda like that aura. Hopefully one day I will have it too! (:
The night continued to get better after the recital as we decided to have supper together! We had great chats together and the supper was fabulous! Though it was a tiring day, it was truly satisfying.
In less than 24 hours, I would be leaving Singapore for Phuket. Honestly I cannot wait because I really want to escape just for a while. Singapore had been hectic. And somehow as much as I hate to admit it, I am really bad at managing my time nowadays. I just want a break from it all, even though it is already the holidays.
So SUN SAND & SEA, here I come! (:
Wandering Spirit
What an aimless day. But in fact, I accomplished more than any other day after my exams. Yet, I felt like a wandering spirit roaming from place to place today.
I dragged myself up this morning for a job interview. It turned out that I was too early and reached at 8.50am when I was supposed to reach at 9pm. Early morning and my brain was not working at all. But yay, I will be able to work with Stef! Can’t wait to work with the babe. (:
Then it was job fair at NUS. Jim asked us to go together so I thought why not, since the agency is Kelly Services and they offer quite good temporary job offers. But alas, when we reached at 12pm the person in-charge said that we had to come back at 2pm because there were too many students. Seriously, I never expect NUS students to be that KEEN in finding jobs. Jim was right, we should have reached at 10am sharp. LOL. Oh wells, we could still register ourselves with Kelly Services on our own though.
Luckily for them, they get to go JB earlier to sing for their karaoke trip. But me? I still gotta wait till 3.15pm for my audition. Argh, there were really thoughts of me giving up this audition at that moment because it was only 12pm then and I gotta wait alone for 3 hours, doing nothing. So in the end, I fell asleep here and there on benches, it was pathetic.
Finally 2pm came and I simply cannot take it anymore. Hence, I went to the audition earlier. Honestly, I think I screwed it up pretty badly. I sang too fast, out of tempo. -.- But well, it was a good experience nevertheless! I came out feeling happy. (: Nevermind bout the results, I just wanna know how a competition like this is like. And now I know.
Though I wandered from place to place today, I felt really accomplished. And I hope my every other day would be like this because my life had not been fulfilling since a long time ago, and I haven’t realised till yesterday. Glad I am doing something about it now. (:
Am freaking tired now. Gonna launch COLLECTION 20 tonight. More work to do!
Wake up my dear
Daddy’s in hospital now, recovering from what all of us had been guessing, food poisoning.
Mummy was super worried when she called me and so I rushed back home immediately. Only when I reached home then I knew what was happening and all. When Mummy went through the details of how Daddy fell sick, my heart suddenly went cold. I know my parents had been working hard these few years when they are supposed to enjoy their retirement lives already. But because of my brother and I, they had to fight on with the hardship and continue working.
It is normal to hear us having lunch/dinner alone, shopping alone and all. But when I heard that my daddy had dinner alone and all, I just felt so sad. I don’t want him to be alone at all. Because like today, he was alone and he fell sick. No one was there to take care of him.
This event makes me ponder had I been a filial daughter to them. Honestly, I admit I was selfish to choose staying in hall when I was in year 1. The timing was totally wrong because then, my mum was still recovering from her sickness. Yet, I chose to be away from home. This is the main reason why now I am back at home, to make up what I haven’t gave her last year.
Today, I realised that this is not enough. I had been spending and still being selfish when I asked for my Mummy to sponsor me some stuff. I need to be financially strong myself now. Because in less than a month’s time, I am gonna turn 21, an age to be truly an adult.
So I have to find work, earn some money now. This will be my plan for this holidays, though not much time is left to enjoy. And this shall still be my plan when school reopens.As much as I want to commit in Dance, I want to be financially independent too. Instead of lamenting that I will never be able to cope with Blast!, work, friends, family, love and school, I will learn to cope.
As I reflected through my life, I realised my will to handle challenges had deteriorated ever since I entered NUS. Because I had grown to be lazy, and such laziness allow me to slack more. I am determined to change, to better manage my time and really strike a good balance among everything that I hold dear to my heart.
To my dearest friends who are reading this, when you find that I am slacking off in life, please give me a reminder of this post that I wrote. (:
As I am typing this, Daddy’s back from hospital. Thank goodness he’s fine now. (:
Let’s head outdoors baby
After a month of break, ZIGZAGZEY is finally going to launch our next collection.
It was a joy to do shopping with the usual girls, this time with Yumin and Ferlin. Photoshoot was tough outdoors, but nevertheless a pleasure to endure through it together with Jo. Though the sun was scorching hot, the clothings are worth the pain!
Do look out for our next collection with beautiful clothes and scenery. (:
After stopping dance for a 3-weeks break, I carried a heavy and stressful heart to class today. Indeed, I couldn’t catch up with the steps while the rest had already sort of mastered it. Argh, I felt stressed and useless the entire time. I know I cannot blame myself entirely because I really haven’t learn the steps. But still, I felt lousy.
It is time for some hard work man. December holiday is the time to work hard on passions. (:
Oh beautiful Sunday
Jie decided to celebrate her birthday with us over lunch today, which means I have to miss another dance class by Ash. I haven’t been dancing for 3 weeks, inclusive of today. My body is deteriorating in shape due to the endless gorging of food when mugging and now that the holidays are here, it is not helping much.
I promised myself that today would be the last day I am going to miss dance for personal reasons. I need to improve and I need to get my dancing shoes back on. Studiowu, here I come. (:
On another note, Jie’s birthday was celebrated with good food as always.
The lunch felt like a wedding meal, with so many courses coming in one after the other. But then again, I wouldn’t complain because I am very sick of the food the Kopitiam near my house sells. So it’s good that I finally get to eat some good food now.
The bill that came after good food was an eye opener. Luckily I was not the one footing the bill. LOL. This kind of indulgence got me thinking of the issues that my pop culture module has gone through. Things like who are considered as high class and low class. I wouldn’t think myself or my family as people who are high class. Alright, perhaps my sister is high class, but definitely not me nor my parents. Yet again, we indulge in such high class culture, sipping tea and having lunch in a hotel’s restaurant. These are not cultures that commoners practice do they. So how do you classify yourself exactly if you consider yourself as low class but yet indulgences like these happen. Just something to set you thinking about your own status in this modern world. (:
After lunch was a short shopping trip around Parkway Parade. Man, the place changed a lot. The last few times I been there were during my A levels when I was mugging or on the way for my Physics tuition. How time flies.
Next year, I am going to turn twenty-one, which my sister reminded me, is an age of adulthood. With more reminders from my mum, it is an age where I would need to start thinking of supporting myself with an income.
Gosh, though it may sound scary and intimidating. Somehow, I am excited for adulthood. (:
Snuggling against the comfort of home
It would be a shocking statement to many if I say that I had not been to Ion Orchard yet. But honestly, that’s the truth and I am determined to visit it soon. Having said that, this explains how much I had been staying at home or exploring only the North-East part of Singapore ever since I came back from the States.
Today actually proved to be a great chance to get out of my comfort zone and explore the central part of Singapore. Then again, Joel and I decided to stay home (his home) for a cosy night in. (:
We decided to cook up a storm, and indeed we did. We bought ingredients that we needed and cooked a meal which serves EIGHT. So imagine how much food was left over.
The process was fun nevertheless, with Chef Chen working hard and concentrating on his culinary skills at all times. Dinner was accompanied with great food, great company and a great movie- National treasure 2.
I am seriously in need to slack and live life at a slower pace, and today was exactly what I needed much. Can’t wait for Phuket trip to come, and we will be off to pretty beaches and away from the hustle bustle. ((:
Don’t leave me standing with the music thumping away
Busy, busy, busy.
I have to make up for the time lost when I was away in United States for 3 months and during the semester due to the heavy workload. This resulted in a super busy Friday for me, but seriously, I don’t mind every single bit of it at all.
Morning was a shopping trip with my humdinger girls (a name which dearest Yumin had been trying to change). Haven’t been there for ages already so it felt pretty good to be back. An interesting thing that I noted bout shopping in that area is that, the shops don’t look to you as customers, but their bosses. And they actually bother to build up some relationships unlike usual retail stores.I guess this dynamics of customers-sellers relationship is always interesting to explore further. It would be good for us to observe such ties because only then we are aware of perhaps different behaviours from us, would result in a better shopping experience. It is simply different ways of handling situations.
So anyway, today was the first time Yumin and Ferlin joined us for the shopping trip. Yumin was such a cute shopper, because every single piece of clothing that she liked, is of floral patterns. She even admitted that she is an Ah Huay. LOL. This Yumin, never fail to make me laugh. I am so glad that she is back from Melbourne, because I had not seen her for the longest time ever! We caught up so much with each other during the bus trip and I can’t wait for the line up of programs in December with my favourite girls. (:
The day was filled with gratification, and I held high hopes for the night.
But sadly, only the dinner was good. I met up with Tze, Steph and Jewel for dinner at Vivocity. We had a great chat and catching up time over dinner. I really miss these people. This semester had been a total change for all of us, because last semester was like a super bonding period where we met up almost every single week for supper together. And this semester? I only met them for like once, and then school work started to bound us down. Nevertheless, it was great to see them again.
Though Jewel and Steph are going on exchange soon, I was glad that we all went to Butter Fac to club together. Thank you Jewel for giving in to us despite how painful your arms felt from the jabs. I really appreciate you coming down to club with us. (:
But the sad thing was, that was Jewel’s first time clubbing and yet the music sucked for the night. I was bored for the entire time and could not stop yawning. It was then that I realised that you don’t only need beats to dance, you need the feel. Half the time I stood on the dance floor wondering, all the music that was playing belonged to the hip hop category and dancers could have easily danced to it with a choreography. But clubbing music? It is nothing but just heavy beats thumping away. One could not even sustain a momentum if he/she was bobbing to the music.
Luckily for me, it was great friends whom saved my night. If not, I would have really walked out of the club as early as 1am. The night continued with us entertaining each other and some good music every once in a while, but the climax always got dampened by some random music. It was quite irritating to be standing on the dance floor, not knowing what to dance to.
Well, it was a night of experience nevertheless, but a price to be paid for. I felt good because I am enjoying life again, with my friends and new friends found. (:
The day I went “peace out”
I bade goodbye to my year 2 semester 1 officially today. (:
It wasn’t easy sustaining till today while watching so many of my friends who have ended their exams like a week before. But I am glad I made it. And the feeling of freedom is great. I feel so liberated.
And what’s holidays without kick starting it with some singing and kbox lovee.
(((:
Honestly, I am feeling so drained and exhausted right now. And tomorrow will be a long day ahead. But yet, I refuse to sleep. I just want to enjoy the joys of procrastinating right now, without having to remind myself constantly that I have something else more important to do.
The December will be a good one, I just know it will. (:
I have lost hope in doing well.
Never have I felt so disappointed in my life.
I screwed up the paper, and I screwed it up pretty badly.
Because of that, I reflected on my entire semester on my way back. It was then that I realised the past 3 months I was doing crap.
Now the paper seems like a nightmare to me. I dreamt of it even when I was sleeping and I even thought of a more appropriate and correct answer for that question which would probably fetch me more marks when I was preparing to sleep.
I don’t know why life is so bad. Something is wrong, but I don’t know what is.
Somebody please save me.
